| Floyd | We have gathered here with Grandfather, our Creator, the
ones who fly, the ones who crawl, the ones who swim, the ones who
walk on four legs, ... |
| Floyd | ...and those beautiful spirits...those who
have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Related Conditions...
who have come to Earth as volunteers to teach us what we need to heal
in our communities. |
| Floyd | This story was created ... |
| Floyd | ...to help you understand the health
problems and behavior challenges... |
| Floyd | ...of your special child from birth to age
5 brought on by the effects of alcohol on their brain. |
| Floyd | The information in this story can help you
become the best possible parent, ... |
| Floyd | ...and help your child be their best. |
| Floyd | So welcome to the world of your special
child and thank you for allowing us to walk with you on this
journey.. |
| Floyd | Hello my relatives, today I am going to
tell you a story about a small fox known as Stays in the Moment.
Stays in the Moment was very special. She did not look like other
foxes...nor did she look like her brother or sister. |
| Floyd | Her eyes were tiny and spaced wide on
either side of her noseÖ |
| Floyd | The area between her nose, and upper lip,
was long, and smooth. |
| Floyd | When she was first born, Stays in the
Moment slept very little. . |
| Floyd | She whimpered fussed, and yelped ... |
| Floyd | ...all night, no matter what her mother did
to soothe her. |
| Mother
Fox | Oooh dear little one,
go to sleep now. |
| Little
Fox | whimper, yelp,
whine |
| Mother
Fox | Your brother and
sister are both fast asleep. You need your rest too.. |
| Floyd | Unlike her brother and sister who would eat
anything their parents would put before them...Stays in the Moment
did not seem hungry or interested in food. |
| Floyd | Stays in the Moment was a careless fox,
often placing herself in danger, forgetting to come when she was
called, and wandering out of the den while her parents were out
hunting. |
| Floyd | Many times the little fox lost her way
home, narrowly escaping Owlís clutches. |
| Floyd | Although her mother and father told her
over and over how to stay safe, Stays in the Moment would forget...
|
| Floyd | ...who was safe -- such as lizard... and
who was not safe ... |
| Floyd | #NAME? |
| Floyd | Stays in the Moment was usually a friendly
and happy little fox who wanted to play with all the other animals,
but because she did not understand or remember the rules of play she
often had problems. |
| Floyd | She could not run as fast, jump as high, or
roll and tumble the way her brother and sister could, and her
siblings often got upset with her... |
| Floyd | ...played tricks on her, or did things to
get her in trouble. |
| father
fox | grrr ... you stay away
from our little fox! |
| Floyd | When Stays in the Moment became upset or
angry she tried to tell others but her yips and yelps, whimpers and
barks.... |
| Floyd | (When Stays in the Moment became upset or
angry she tried to tell others but her yips and yelps, whimpers and
barks) ... did not always sound like the language spoken by the other
foxes, so her feelings were not understood. |
| Floyd | Stays in the Momentís parents worried about
their daughter. They knew that someday she would have to live out on
her own.. |
| Floyd | Every night they prayed to Grandfather, the
Creator, for help. . |
| Floyd | One night, while Mother and Father Fox were
out on a hunt, Eagle flew low and landed in a tree over head. |
| Floyd | At first they were startled because Eagle
was not a bird of the night, ... |
| Floyd | ...but when Eagle spoke, they soon
understood why she had come. |
| Eagle | Dear Foxes, your prayers have been heard.
Grandfather, our Creator, has sent me to help you. I know that you
are worried because your daughter, Stays in the Moment, looks
different and has a hard time learning and staying safe like your
other children. |
| Eagle | The Creator has heard you weep and wonder
what you have done wrong as parents.. |
| Eagle | I am here to tell you the truth. When you
were pregnant Mother Fox, you and Father Fox, wandered down to the
farm several times and ate grapes that had soured to the point that
they contained alcohol. When you, Mother Fox, ate those grapes, the
alcohol went into your babyís body and hurt her brain. It is also
the reason |
| Eagle | ...her face looks different. Her condition
is called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. |
| Eagle | Your other kits may look or seem fine,
however pay close attention to them too and watch for any problems
they may have learning. Problems such as this we call Fetal Alcohol
Related Conditions. |
| Eagle | Foxes, I can see your fear, but remember
your daughter Stays in the Moment is a very special soul. |
| Eagle | We will all work together so that she can
live and be as happy and healthy as her sister and brother. She is a
gift to teach us patience, respect and love. |
| Eagle | No, you did not know this could happen.
We know you both wanted healthy children and that you are trying to
be the best parents possible. |
| Eagle | I am here to help you reach this goal. I am
going to send you to a wonderful healer who lives deep in the woods.
|
| Eagle | He sits at the North of a medicine wheel, a
healing circle. He has gathered together many helpers that will
assist you in understanding your daughter. They will teach you what
to do to help her be her best. Trust in these helpers. . |
| Eagle | I will return as often as you need. Just
send your prayers to Grandfather, our Creator, and I will come... |
| Floyd | Following Eagle's directions, Mother and
Father Fox took Stays in the Moment with them, and soon found
themselves in a tiny forest clearing. |
| Floyd | Suddenly out from behind an ancient snag
dashed a small, fluffy-tailed brown squirrel. . |
| Floyd | She ran up and down chattering loudly until
she finally stopped in front of the Foxes.... |
| Floyd | ... and flicked her tail side to side. |
| Squirrel | I hear you are looking for help for your daughter. I
will be glad to lead you to the circle of healers. |
| Squirrel | Follow me, follow me, follow me...yes, yes,
yes,...follow me...î |
| Floyd | The Foxes eagerly followed Squirrel down
the trail that led to the medicine wheel .... |
| Floyd | ... the healing center for all the animals
in the forest. When they arrived ... |
| Floyd | they saw a glowing fire in a circle of
stones. The stones represented the knowledge of the ancient ones and
the ones to come. Seated on a large stump, inside the circle, to the
North, was Raven, emanating enormous power, wisdom, and kindness.
Squirrel introduced them. |
| Squirrel | There, there, there...yes, yes, yes...there, there,
there is Dr. Raven. |
| Floyd | Dr. Raven slowly rose and greeted them by
holding out his coal black wings. Raven smiled broadly and motioned
the Foxes to enter the healing circle. But first make yourselves
comfortable for we have much to talk about. |
| Raven | Welcome, dear Foxes. Gathered here today
are all the ones who have come to help you and your daughter. Let me
introduce them and tell you why they are important in this circle of
healing and in your daughterís life. |
| Floyd | Father Fox sat down on Dr. Ravenís right,
Mother Fox sitting along side him. Stays in the Moment seemed
confused about what was happening and began squirming, fidgeting, and
yipping .... |
| Floyd | ...as other animals came to join the
healing circle. Dr. Raven remained smiling and calm and greeted each
new helper with affection and respect. |
| Floyd | The first to enter the circle was Owl, the
psychologist. Owlís job was to help Father and Mother Fox understand
how the alcohol might have hurt their daughterís brain. . |
| Floyd | Owl asked many questions about the Foxís
family life, their problems... and the successes that they had with
their daughter and what they felt ... |
| Floyd | ...as parents, that they did well. Another
of Owlís concerns was Mother and Father Foxís feelings about their
daughterís condition. |
| Floyd | Next to be introduced was Rabbit, Owlís
helper. Rabbitís job was to test Stays in the Moment to find out her
strengths and skills .... |
| Floyd | ...and to measure what the little fox had
learned so far in her life. |
| Floyd | The third helper was Kingfisher. Kingfisher
listened to the way Stays in the Moment talked. From her speech
patterns he could understand how Stays in the Momentís brain
worked,... |
| Floyd | ... how she learned, and what types of help
she would need to understand her everyday world.. |
| Floyd | Next, Deer, the head teacher from the
forest school... where the little fox would soon be going... came
forth. |
| Floyd | Deerís participation in the healing circle
was important because teachers and parents worked together to be sure
... |
| Floyd | .... many of the lessons learned at school
were also taught at home. |
| Floyd | Bear then came into the light of the fire
and sat to the West. Bear scratched her back against a nearby pine
tree and greeted the Fox family warmly, and patted Stays in the
Moment on the head. The fox family liked Bear immediately. Before Dr.
Raven could introduce Bear, she grinned and said. |
| Bear | Welcome Foxes. My job is to help you
understand all that is said here and to walk with you on youíre
healing path ..... |
| Bear | ... all through the life of your daughter.
I was chosen for this honor because ... |
| Bear | ... my cub, Sees No Danger, has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
too. .My cub got her name because she has little fear and often makes
choices that lead her into trouble. I too came to this healing circle
as a concerned parent.. |
| Bear | When I first came for help, I was angry
with myself for not being a better parent. I learned that all parents
of our special children have these feelings. |
| Bear | To my surprise, I found out I was a good
parent but I just needed to do things differently for this cub of
mine, unlike her siblings. Now I know we need... |
| Bear | ...everyone in our forest community working
together if we are to successfully care for our children.. |
| Floyd | With that, Bear leaned back and smiled. It
was now Squirrelís turn to talk. |
| Squirrel | Well, well, well...yes, yes, yes...well, well, well.
There are many gathered here today, some of us...you may have
considered in other settings, a danger to you and your children. |
| Squirrel | However, the ones you meet here at the circle understand
how special and fragile these children are and are here to work
together to help you and your child.î |
| Floyd | The time in the circle was spent assessing
Stays in the Momentís needs and skills .... |
| Floyd | ... and helping Stays in the Momentís
parents understand that they did not need to blame themselves or feel
guilty for the problems their daughter had.. |
| Floyd | Dr. Raven and his team knew that this was
often the case when a child was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and
Fetal Alcohol Related Conditions. |
| Floyd | They also knew that parents love their
children and want what is best. After all, that is the reason,
despite their fears, Mother and Father Fox came to the medicine
wheel. As the Fox family stood to leave, Squirrel jumped up... |
| Squirrel | Wait, wait, wait...there is one more, one more helper
for you to meet. . |
| Squirrel | Bear, please ask him to join us now. |
| Bear | (deep chuckle) ìYes Squirrel. Dear Foxes,
this is our good friend Coyote.î |
| Coyote | ìMy job is to ensure that the most
important part of healthy living is not forgotten. A balance between
the physical, the emotional, and spiritual needs we all have, keeps
us healthy. You have heard about the first two. I am here to remind
us that ... |
| Coyote | Stays in the Moment is a beautiful spirit
who can teach us love, patience, and respect.. |
| Coyote | Caring for her requires that we all work
together to make the best possible life for our children, families,
and everyone here in our forest. On this sometimes sad and perilous
journey, remember to look for the joy and humor. Your daughter, if
you pay close attention, will teach you about all of these.î |
| Floyd | With these words, the healing circle ended
and the Fox family returned home, their hearts much lighter! |
| Floyd | But it was not easy. Mother and Father Fox
at first, were overwhelmed by what they were told, shown, and given
to read. It seemed a huge job for them to make the changes that had
been suggested. However, it became clear that in order to ensure the
safety of their little fox it was necessary to practice what they had
learned in the healing circle. . |
| Floyd | On a day that the foxes were having some
trouble with Stays in the Moment and her siblings, Coyote knowingly,
came to visit.. |
| Coyote | ìMother and Father Fox, it is time that you
talk to someone else who has been through these struggles. I suggest
that you talk to Bear. Her cub, Sees No Danger, has done similar
things as your little fox. Bear can help you.î |
| Floyd | While Father Fox talked to his other
children about how they had often endangered their sisterís life,...
|
| Floyd | Mother Fox went to Bearís den for a
mother-to-mother talk. Bear listened lovingly and quietly while
Mother Fox spoke of her fears, pain, frustration, hope and love for
her daughter. |
| Mother
Fox | ìI think we often
expect too much of our daughter as well as too much from ourselves.
Stays in the Moment is easily frustrated and irritated and my other
children are often jealous of the attention their sister gets. They
trick and they tease her, trying to upset her. Sometimes we're not
sure how to balance the special needs of Stays in the Moment with
those of our other children. |
| Floyd | Mother Fox cried as she described how when
their little fox was scolded she would whimper with sadness and tell
them she didnít know why she did dangerous things. Deep down inside
Stays in the Moment was sad. She wanted to make her parents happy and
felt she was a failure..When Mother Fox had finished, Bear asked her
what she felt the Fox family had gained from their visit to Dr. Raven
and his team at the healing circle.. |
| Mother
Fox | We now see many of her
challenging behaviors as expressions of her not understanding the
world and what people want her to do. |
| Floyd | Mother Fox told Bear about some of the new
practices she and her mate had begun. One was to bring home as much
as they could of what their daughter liked to eat. Another was
having all of their children eat at the same time every day. As a
result Stays in the Moment was doing better with her eating. . |
| Floyd | Another new teaching method was showing
Little Fox how to do it, rather than just telling her what to do.
Most of all, ..... |
| Floyd | (Most of all) ... they celebrated every
time Little Fox did something new or was successful. Achievements
were measured differently for this special child, and both Mother and
Father Fox accepted the fact that this daughter would need their help
all her life and would not be as independent as the other children.
|
| Floyd | Bear told Mother Fox how she understood the
challenges that she and her mate were experiencing: |
| Bear | ìIt is a hard and sometimes lonely journey
when your child takes so much time and energy. Having been down that
road myself, what I know is that you are heading in the right
direction. The most important decision you have made is to ask for
help. |
| Floyd | Bear added that help comes in many forms,
not just what is received from the helpers in the medicine wheel but
also in our quiet conversations. Help can come from aunts, uncles,
brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends and neighbors. They can all
learn to be more patient with our children and to show them what they
want with actions, not just words. Our entire forest family can help
you and your family as we are taught to do by our Creator. . |
| Floyd | Mother fox bowed her head in silent thanks.
.As she said good-by and left Bearís den, Coyote appeared at her
side. |
| Coyote | ìLove, respect, structure, and laughter,
these are the keys. |
| Coyote | Go home, Mother Fox, go and love your
child. Share what Bear has told you with your mate and all of your
children. |
| Coyote | Eagle, Raven, and the other helpers you
have met are here to support you as I am. Go now,... . |
| Coyote/Floyd | (Coyote and Floyd in unison) ... go and learn from
your children. Call on us. We will answer. . |
