| Floyd | We have gathered here with Grandfather, our Creator, the
ones who fly, the ones who crawl, the ones who swim, the ones who
walk on four legs,... |
| Floyd | ...and those beautiful spirits...those who
have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Related Conditions...
who have come to Earth as volunteers to teach us what we need to heal
in our communities. |
| Floyd | This story was created ... |
| Floyd | ...to help you understand the health
problems and behavior challenges... |
| Floyd | ...of your special adolescent child from
the ages of 12 to 17 years old, brought on by the effects of alcohol
in their brain. |
| Floyd | The information in this story can help you
become the best possible parent, ... |
| Floyd | ...and help your child be their best. |
| Floyd | So welcome to the world of your special
child and thank you for allowing us to walk with you on this
journey.. |
| Floyd | This is the story of Sees No Danger, a
young bear just on the edge of adulthood. She was the youngest of
many cubs born to her mother. |
| Floyd | Compared to her older brothers and sisters,
she was small and very thin. As a young cub, Sees No Danger had been
clumsy and awkward. |
| Floyd | She had a sweet face with small black eyes
and a short nose that was turned up at the end. Her front paws turned
in a bit more than usual. Her teeth were crooked and did not meet
each other at the front as they should.. |
| Floyd | As her name implied, Sees No Danger was
fearless. She was always poking her nose into bushes, bee hives, and
getting stuck in high trees. Her mother told her, over and over, what
was safe and what was not safe. But Sees No Danger never seemed to
learn. |
| Floyd | She attended the forest school with all the
other young animals. However, while they learned to read and write,
Sees No Danger never seemed to make any progress. She became.... |
| Floyd | ... fidgety...frustrated and had difficulty
paying attention, became easily confused and often intruded into what
the other animals were doing.. |
| Floyd | After much struggling, Sees No Danger did
learn to read and spell easy words. She could add and subtract small
numbers but she never quite grasped multiplication, division or
fractions. |
| Floyd | Deer, the head teacher, saw how Sees No
Danger struggled to learn. She and Mother Bear both agreed to have
Sees No Danger enter into special classesfor children with learning
disabilities. Despite this, Sees No Danger fell further behind.
Finally, being very frustrated she began refusing to attend
school. |
| Floyd | Much to her mother's dismay, the teen bear
also started staying away from home at night. Often she found Sees
No Danger walking down logging roads, right out where humans could
see her. |
| Floyd | One summer day her mother caught her near
the road to town. |
| Mother
Bear | Where do you think
you are going missy? Donít you know how risky it is for you to be out
in the open like this? What are you thinking? |
| Sees No
Danger | Iím just taking a
walk. Besides, what does it matter. I have no friends, everyone
laughs at me. Iím no good at games, and I hate school. |
| Mother
Bear | (quietly) Sees No
Danger, I know life has been hard for you at times.. |
| Sees No
Danger | (interrupting)
Thatís what you always say Mom! But, letís face it, I have no father,
no friends and Iím lonely.. |
| Mother
Bear | Honey, you do have a
father. . |
| Mother
Bear | He lives on the far
side of the hill and comes every Fall. |
| Mother
Bear | Iíve told you often
that it is the nature of bears to mate and for the mothers to raise
their cubs alone. |
| Floyd | Mother Bear was frustrated, sad, and
surprised. She tried to be a good mother, but it wasnít working with
this daughter the way it had with her other cubs. Somehow this child
was different. Even as a baby Sees No Danger was a fussy eater and
had a hard time sleeping. .. |
| Mother
Bear | Sees No Danger, I see
that you are sad and lonely. I need to find a way to help you. I am
going to take you to stay with your brother for a while. I'll return
for you when I have some answers. |
| Sees No
Danger | Sure, I'd like
that. (sigh) Mom, I donít meant to be so bad. Please, donít stop
loving me. |
| Mother
Bear | Never, my child. You
are not bad and Iíll never stop loving you. |
| Floyd | Meanwhile, way, way to the North, where the
snow falls early and stays late, a similar situation was going on. A
mother polar bear was chiding her large, adolescent bear named
Wanders Afar.. |
| Mother Polar
Bear | (Scolding) I have
told you over and over, you cannot come to this place for food. Itís
not safe! Do you see what that human is carrying? Itís a rifle. It
fires hot metal and it can kill you! |
| Floyd | Mother Polar Bear shook her head in
frustration. She loved this big, handsome son of hers but, sometimes,
his lack of understanding was simply more than she could handle.. |
| Floyd | As the bears walked back to their mountain
home, Mother Polar Bear recalled the problems her son had as a
child, his stubbornness, his inability to follow directions, his
impulsiveness, disobedience and stealing. She sighed softly and
whispered in a low voice to herself. |
| Mother Polar
Bear | I wonder what caused
my son to be so careless. What did I do wrong? I raised him as I have
raised all my other children. . |
| Mother Polar
Bear | He can be so sweet
and happy, but I wish he could hunt and feed himself! I see him
stealing food from others, and from the trash left by humans. |
| Mother Polar
Bear | I keep telling him
itës not safe yet he persists in doing dangerous things. He roams day
and night, I never know where he is. |
| Floyd | When Mother Polar Bear stopped to look back
at her son, he was nowhere to be seen. |
| Mother Polar
Bear | Wanders
Afar...Wanders Afar...Where did you go? |
| Floyd | Miles away, down South, Sees No Danger and
her mother traveled to her brother's den. Mother Bear knew that her
son, Stands Proud, ... |
| Floyd | ... would watch over his sister. He also
may have some notion as to what made her so sad and caused her so
many problems. |
| Stands So
Proud | Why hello! Come
in...come in. I have lovely fresh berries to share! |
| Floyd | After enjoying their tasty snack, Mother
Bear leaned back and began telling her son the story. |
| Mother
Bear | Stands Proud, you are
my oldest child. I know you have studied our forest world and
listened to the birds, fish, small animals and insects. You are
familiar with your sisterís struggles. I have come for your
help.î. |
| Stands So
Proud | Goodness Mother, you
are so serious...what can I do?. |
| Mother
Bear | First, tell me if you
have any idea as to why your sister is so sad and careless, and has
such a hard time learning? Next, I need someone for your sister to
talk to, to teach her what I have not been able to..And, well, the
last thing...(mother bear hesitated).....Can your sister stay with
you while I seek out the answers I need and the help she needs?î |
| Sees No
Danger | Oh yes...Please,
please can I stay?...It will be so fun. We can climb trees and go
swimming, and eat honey.... |
| Stands So
Proud | (laughing)
Stop...stop little sister...Why, of course you can stay...But, Fall
and Winter are coming fast. I am working hard to gather food and to
make my den snug for the cold time ahead. You can help. Mother, I
have something you should see. |
| Floyd | Sees No Danger frowned at the idea of
working. Mother Bear sighed. She knew it was pointless to say much.
Sees No Dangerís corner of her den was often a mess. Cleaning up was
the last thing she ever wanted to do. Stands Proud reached behind a stone and retrieved a book titled, ìFetal Alcohol Syndrome.î. . |
| Stands So
Proud | Mother, I believe
that my youngest sister has this condition.. |
| Floyd | Mother Bear looked up at her son
bewildered.. |
| Mother
Bear | Daughter, please go
outside and take care not to wander off. I hear the nuthatches and
chickadees calling. Please, go see what they have to say.. |
| Sees No
Danger | (snorting and
leaving) Fine, have your secrets, Iíll have mine. |
| Mother
Bear | (sighing) I wish I
knew what to do. Now son, tell me what this is about. |
| Stands So
Proud | I will tell you what
I know...Do you remember the year when it was so wet in the spring
and so hot in the summer? The year Sees No Danger was
conceived?î. |
| Mother
Bear | Why yes, of course I
do. It was the year your father came over to our mountain early. We
used to go to the farm and eat ourselves silly on those half rotten
grapes...(giggles)... Yes, I remember. But what does that have to do
with your sister and this book? ì . |
| Stands So
Proud | (in a low voice) See
how these pictures resemble my sister? |
| Stands So
Proud | I know that there
was alcohol in those grapes that you and father loved to eat. I
remember, my dear mother, that for several weeks you and he ... |
| Stands So
Proud | ... went to the farm
every day. From what Iíve read I believe that the alcohol in those
grapes damaged my sisterís brain. That is why when ... |
| Stands So
Proud | ... she was little,
she had such a small thin body and little eyes, and such a hard time
learning. |
| Mother
Bear | (sobs) Oh, no! What
have I done? Oh my poor little girl. Oh, no.. |
| Stands So
Proud | Come, come, mother.
You are not to blame. You did not know. |
| Stands So
Proud | I have heard that
Dr. Raven has a healing circle and a whole team of helpers that can
give us more information. We'll go as a family so we can all
learn.. |
| Floyd | Mother Bear nodded in agreement as she
wiped her tears away. When they went to look for Sees No Danger, she
was no where to be found.. |
| Mother
Bear | (calling) Sees No
Danger .... Sees No Danger (to herself) Oh how could I ever get mad
at her. It's not her fault. |
| Floyd | Two weeks passed. No one in the community
had seen or heard from Sees No Danger. ... To the North, Mother Polar
Bear faced the same fear....It seemed as if both of these precious
children had vanished from the face of the earth. All that could be
done was to send word out through the animal community and wait, and
pray... On the fourteenth day, late in the afternoon, Stands Proud
came for his mother... |
| Stands So
Proud | Mother, Dr. Raven
and his team of helpers are waiting for us. Please bring your photo
album and come with me.. |
| Floyd | As the two bears came into the clearing,
Dr. Raven rose and walked over to greet them. |
| Raven | Welcome Mother Bear. Your son has told us
of your plight. Come sit down; let us talk. But first, let me
introduce the team. |
| Floyd | The first to enter the circle was Owl, the
psychologist. Owlís job was to help Mother Bear understand how her
daughterís brain might have been hurt by alcohol. Owl asked many
questions about Bearís family life, problems and successes they had
with Sees No Danger. She also asked Mother Bear about her feelings
concerning her daughterís condition. |
| Floyd | Owlís helper, Rabbit, came next. Rabbitís
job was to test the children to find out their strengths and skills,
and to measure what they had learned so far.. |
| Floyd | The third helper was Kingfisher. Kingfisher
listened to speech patterns. From this he could understand how people
learned, how their brains worked, and what types of help they would
need to understand their everyday world.. |
| Floyd | Another helper was Deer, the head teacher
from the forest school. What the animals learned at school could also
be reinforced at home. This way, teachers and parents worked together
to help the children. |
| Raven | (quietly) Tell us your story. We will try
to help... |
| Floyd | Mother Bear sighed as she told of her
daughterís struggles. She spoke of the learning problems, and how she
endangered herself, and her lack of understanding of cause and
effect. Mother Bear also told them that despite her daughterís young
age she had been sexually active, even when she was not in season.
... When Mother Bear finished, Dr. Raven sat quietly for a moment.
Then, he stood up and shook his feathers. |
| Raven | Your story is so common for the adolescent
animals we see in our clinic. We have looked at the pictures ... |
| Raven | ... you brought in of your daughter. It
appears that she does have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. As soon as she
returns we will need you to bring her in so we can examine her in
person.. |
| Mother
Bear | Oh...I feel so
ashamed of what I did to my daughter, so ashamed.. |
| Raven | Mother Bear, it is clear that you love your
daughter. Keep educating yourself. Learn what you can. We will help.
But remember, you did not know what could happen when you ate the
grapes. We will work with you to help your daughter. We have to work
together as family and as a community to stop Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
from happening, and to provide support to all those impacted by these
conditions. |
| Floyd | Mother Bear was extremely distraught over
her daughterís long disappearance. Finally, after months of this
depression, Coyote and her son paid her a visit. With his gentle and
honest manner, Stands Proud told his mother of their concern:. |
| Stands So
Proud | Mother, you are not
eating nor preparing for the upcoming winter. Harming yourself will
not bring your daughter back home. It is not your fault that she
left. You know she always was impulsive and had a difficult time
understanding the consequences of her actions. It is time for you,
mother dear, to come back to this world.. |
| Floyd | Mother Bear, who had wept as her son spoke,
wiped her tears and nodded in agreement.. |
| Mother
Bear | Yes, my son. You are
right. |
| Floyd | As they began to leave, Mother Bear
continued. |
| Mother
Bear | You know, while Iíve
been here fretting, I have been thinking of starting a support group
for parents whose children have the same conditions as your sister. I
would like to tell Dr. Raven. |
| Floyd | Dr. Raven and his team liked Mother Bearís
idea and arranged for the parentís support meetings be held in a
nearby forest glade. The first meetingd were well attended by many
animal families. Raven smiled as Coyote rose and walked to where
Mother Bear sat. He held out his paw to her.. |
| Coyote | This is a time and space for all of you
parents to share your fears, successes, and hopes. Mother Bear, you
have just finished having time in our healing circle. Could you
start? |
| Floyd | Mother Bear stood, took a deep breath, and
then began telling her story. As she finished, many of the other
parents had tears in their eyes. One by one, each told their story.
At the end of the evening, Coyote rose again.. |
| Coyote | Grandfather, I ask your blessings on all
who have come tonight. I ask for many more evenings of sharing and
hope. Thank you for our little ones and not so little ones who have
been lights in our life. We hope it's been helpful. We will meet
during the next full moon. Thank you all for coming. |
| Coyote | (excited) Wait! Mother Bear, I think
Grandfather has heard your prayers...Look!î.. |
| Floyd | As Mother Bear looked up she started to
cry, for .... |
| Floyd | ... standing at the entrance to the glade
was her daughter. Next to her was a large handsome white bear with a
big smile. At their side was a tiny cub, brown with odd white
stripes. . |
| Sees No
Danger | Mom, mom! Iím
home! Look, I have a mate and a beautiful child all my own. Isnít it
wonderful, Mom! . |
| Mother
Bear | Oh yes dear, (weeping
with joy) yes, ...yes |
| Coyote | (laughing) Enjoy the homecoming |
| Floyd | Time had passed since Mother Bear had been
reunited with her daughter. Sees No Danger and her mate Wanders Afar
were still together and living with their cub. All had not gone well
however....A serious problem had occured involving several of the
forest communityís youngsters. . |
| Floyd | Some of the young bears, coyotes, and
wolves joined together and entered the yards of the human houses. A
pack of humans with guns, dogs, and sticks chased these youngsters
home. Golden One, a young cougar, had been shot and hurt as she and
the other youngsters tried to escape. A tribunal was held to discuss
these concerns. . |
| Floyd | It discovered that some of the young ones
with less ability to make good decisions, those with learning
problems, and those easily influenced, were being coaxed by others
into making these dangerous trips. |
| Floyd | These youngsters, and their parents were
called to attend a meeting. A council of animals had come up with
solutions to ensure the safety of their young ones. Now Bison, the
magistrate, addressed the group. |
| Bison | (deep sigh) The forest elders, Dr. Raven,
and his team, and the families have met and discussed the issues and
needs of each of these children, along with the needs of the
community. Every full moon, the children you see here, and their
families, will meet with their probation officer and social worker to
see what progress is being made. In six months time, we will all meet
again to report to the community.. |
| Coyote | We must work together to give our
youngsters constant support and supervision. |
| Floyd | Several days after the Tribunal, Mother
Bearís den saw the arrival of visitors. Father Polar Bear spoke up.
|
| Father Polar
Bear | We got word through
crow that our son was here. We heard about the trouble he was in and
we want to help him.. |
| Mother Polar
Bear | Thank you for looking
after our son. I feel so guilty for not helping him in the right way
all these years. I never dreamed that the mash left on the beach by
the humans had alcohol in it, and when I ate it, it harmed my unborn
baby. |
| Father Polar
Bear | Yes. Before we only
saw our son from the outside. Now we understand the damage can be
inside the brain, not always where it is seen.î |
| Floyd | Bison took a deep sigh as the Polar Bear
finished speaking.. |
| Bison | Sees No Danger and Wanders Afar, it is time
we made plans for where you are going to live, how you are going to
take care of yourselves, and your son, and how to keep you out of
trouble..We have a list of requirements that you two must meet. Our
job as your elders is to help protect you, support you, and to aid
you in being your best.. |
| Floyd | Sees No Danger and Wanders Afar were silent
as Coyote read the list:.. |
| Floyd | After Coyote had finished Sees No Danger
spoke up in an angry voice.. |
| Sees No
Danger | That is so unfair!
Why donít the other kids have to do these things?. |
| Mother
Bear | (sighing) Daughter,
remember what we talked about? It is not your concern what happens
with the others. Our job is to help you and your mate do well. Now,
pay attention! |
| Bison | (Solemn) ìSees No Danger, this is your
chance to have a good life. |
| Floyd | Throughout that afternoon, the elders and
parents talked to their children. They helped set up a structured
environment and developed a schedule for their children to follow.
|
| Floyd | The two bears were given community service
jobs of picking up litter left by humans along the forest trails. |
| Floyd | As time went on, both young bears had some
successes and some failures. Without constant monitoring, structure,
and prompting, they would forget to do their jobs. |
| Floyd | Sometimes, both young bears wanted to be
with their friends, rather than take care of their baby. Sometimes
they fought, broke up, and then got back together again.. |
| Floyd | When Wanders Afar broke his probation by
stealing food from the hunterís camp, the council came up with an
appropriate sentenceÖhouse arrest with an ankle bracelet to monitor
his whereabouts. He still was required to attend school, go to work,
and meet with his probation officer. However, he was not allowed
contact with the adolescents who tended to influence him in negative
directions.. |
| Floyd | Their behavior often frustrated their
parents. However, through standing by each other and calling on the
support of the other parents and family members in their group, they
learned to be more patient and to set more realistic expectations.
. |
| Floyd | Mother Bear made sure that Sees No Danger
received her birth control shot every three months. This helped
ensure that she did not have any more children. Heron helped arrange
respite care for the Bear families.. |
| Floyd | One night, a year after their adolescent
children had been back in their care, the bear parents sat outside
Stands Proudís den. |
| Floyd | They watched as their grand son, now
nearly two-years-old, played with his dad. Sees No Danger laughed as
she watched. |
| Mother
Bear | It sure has been a
long journey to this point. I wander what is to come.. |
| Floyd | Despite the difficulties of the past year,
there had been many successes. None of the adults present doubted
there were more struggles ahead. What was different now, though, was
the knowledge and hope that had come through the healing circle, the
parentís support group, and the participation of the whole community
in keeping the special ones such as Wanders Afar and Sees No Danger,
safe.. |
| Floyd | Coyote, who had been sitting quietly
nearby, smiled and said a silent prayer of thanks to Grandfather our
Creator for all the creatures in the forest. . |
| Floyd | He knew that it was love and hope, along
with common sense and structure, that would help all of the special
souls with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Related
Conditions, as well as their families. |
| Floyd | So, it is time for us to smile, be
grateful, and watch over the special ones placed in our care. If this
becomes too heavy a load, remember to ask for help from your family,
friends, others in the community, and from the Creator. No load is
too heavy when it is shared with love. |
